Hey there good lookin'

Message from Antonio
Received 07:42 GMT

Howdi,
The Doves are good but hard to explain. Imagine Oasis, but less guitar-riff driven, and more reliant on sound effects thus giving them an somewhat ethereal quality. Like a modern Pink Floyd almost but with more immediate songs and catchy rhythms. You will have heard some of their songs before and you should dig it more then a necrophiliac in a graveyard.
No girlfriend just yet but potential is probably less likely as I have found beggar all in common with most of the girls I have met over here. But if one should come along I will snap her up like a hungry crocodile leaping out of the water to surprise a migrating bison.
My top three chat up lines
1) "I've got a teletext television and a microwave oven!"
2) "I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing."
3) (In a Jamaican accent) "You see this?" grabbing at my crotch "I'll kill you with it!"

Last night i got no numbers and three slaps.
It was a wise move to come out here
I bid ye good tidings,
Antonio