Score as many points as you can

Message from Antonio
Received 02:00 GMT

Dear Sir

I shall split my ratings into drunk and sober because huge and startling differences occurred.
General Attractiveness - (Drunk) Quite pretty, a nice smile and fairly cute. Slightly small but not a problem. (7).
General Attractiveness - (Sober) Disappointing, looks a bit like Shrek's wife when she's a shrek. Very small, must have been wearing heels. No longer want to stand next to her for fear of looking gigantic. (5).

Communicado - (Drunk) Seem to get on quite well, have a few laughs, sometimes I can't tell what she says but that must be because the music is loud. (6).
Communicado - (Sober) Hmmm, her English isn't great. sends text messages saying things like "Antonio I hope to meet you well tomorrow". Conversation is limited to 1. Me being tall, 2. Me being handsome, 3. Me having a nice smile. Flattering but intellectually unfulfilling. (3).

Cuddlability - (Drunk) Cuddles well. Has that little midrift we like. (8)
Cuddlability - (Sober) Didn't cuddle when sober but fair's fair she looked cuddly (8)

SOH - (Drunk) my judging of a sense of humour is determined on whether they laugh at my jokes or not which, to be honest, may not be entirely fair. No-one in Singapore so far has laughed at my new chat up line, "Hi my name is Antonio, who the hell are you" so the fact that she didn't wasn't surprising. Her joke "Antonio are you gay? No? Can I make sure?" tickled me though (6).
SOH - (Sober) Realise I will probably never have a serious relationship with anyone who can't understand english properly. My comedic talents are wasted and I refuse to revert to slapstick. (1)

Eroticness (drunk)- Pretty cute. Would gladly pork. (7)
Eroticness (Sober)- Looks like a small shrek (disappointing admission). (6)
Overall, drunk - an alarming 34/50. Sober - a sobering 23/50. And there we have confirmation that you are right to stick to the Red Bull my friend.

Anyway I must go and tend to my beauty.