Pot as many balls as you can

Message From Lorenzo
Sent 21:37 GMT

Hey Antonio,
I write to you today on a sad note. No my mum did not just walk in on me as i was watching porn (a la American Pie opening scene). And no i did not just spend whole day in the house and am now watching four weddings and a funeral on channel 4... well maybe one of them happened.

So how has your week been, i ask becasue, well you are in the far east- single, young tall... fan of led zepplin(?) and you must be having a great time and i want to tell all my domestic friends your funky tales.
My week has involved being poorly but not, getting my head down and doing my homework but not, trying to be cool about who i went to the thrills with...but not (obviously i am a fan of "..." and ( ) ) so i have had a good week
Did you know that cottage cheese is a popular source of protein?
My apologies, i am very excited. Can you tell from the tone of my type?

I bet you miss bonnie old England with the sweeping hills, babbling brooks, friendly people and bars where everyone knows your name. What am i talking about?
a ha- the reason i am sad, writing on a sad note etc.

I could not get tickets for the snooker and so i will be watching the york final in a hotel room in a rural location one mile from the nearest town. But you are in the east so why would i want to go there without you? Well Portia lives there and she is a fine looking woman with a big heart and great personality. In fact why am i not in york at the moment?
forget this email i am off to tell Portia i am on the ................