Tis the season

Message from Lorenzo
Sent 12:09 GMT

Merry Christmas,

We had our work christmas meal on friday and i like how people in an office can put aside their differences and come together in the season of good will and share a couple of hours together. Not sure which office that happens in but in ours we had a seating plan to make sure we did not end up sat next to people who we were averse to. Further to this Jessica ordered me to remove all cultery and replace it with plastic knives and forks. Is this normal behaviour?
Had a good time anyway.

Meal+ (drinks x good company) = Good times.
For desert I had chocolate pavlova with a chocolate hazelnut cream.
It hit the spot. Much like having your body tweaked by the woman of your dreams. Erotic (said while rolling the "r").

damn it - this is going to be a shorter email than i expected... I am late for a trip to Bognor Regis, need to pick up Nerissa and get going, it is a long trip, sorry. Will send appropirate, incoherant, long winded message next weekend.

fish

Smiley Faces

Message from Antonio
Received 01:18 GMT

Young fish,
Your e-mail made me very happy today. Not because of your great words of wisdom or because of your wit and intelligence, but because it reminded me of the Lorenzo we all know and love. Your random typings and elongated sentences were typical of the kind of speak you like to indulge in after a few can's of Red Bull, typified by that night we shared in the Piano Bar. Ah, the memories.
Shame you aint going to the snooker. That is about all I understood from your e-mail.
Interesting stories? Went out after work, hit a few random bars, I got extremely drunk and we ended up at a cool night club. In there we were sat with some Thai girls one of whom wanted a piece of me and I was more than happy to let her have some.
New paragraph as things turn bad. The said bird offers me a cloret and puts what I thought were two mints in my mouth. One tasted funny but I thought I'm in the far east and there is nothing dodgy here! About 15 minutes later I stand up to go to the toilet and low and behold I am incredibly off my tits. I had been drinking much anyway and presume that bird slipped my an E.

Dont think i will be drinking there again, although - free E.
Antonio

Pot as many balls as you can

Message From Lorenzo
Sent 21:37 GMT

Hey Antonio,
I write to you today on a sad note. No my mum did not just walk in on me as i was watching porn (a la American Pie opening scene). And no i did not just spend whole day in the house and am now watching four weddings and a funeral on channel 4... well maybe one of them happened.

So how has your week been, i ask becasue, well you are in the far east- single, young tall... fan of led zepplin(?) and you must be having a great time and i want to tell all my domestic friends your funky tales.
My week has involved being poorly but not, getting my head down and doing my homework but not, trying to be cool about who i went to the thrills with...but not (obviously i am a fan of "..." and ( ) ) so i have had a good week
Did you know that cottage cheese is a popular source of protein?
My apologies, i am very excited. Can you tell from the tone of my type?

I bet you miss bonnie old England with the sweeping hills, babbling brooks, friendly people and bars where everyone knows your name. What am i talking about?
a ha- the reason i am sad, writing on a sad note etc.

I could not get tickets for the snooker and so i will be watching the york final in a hotel room in a rural location one mile from the nearest town. But you are in the east so why would i want to go there without you? Well Portia lives there and she is a fine looking woman with a big heart and great personality. In fact why am i not in york at the moment?
forget this email i am off to tell Portia i am on the ................

***Character Update***

My (the) mentor. Out of the blue a work mate enters the scene and again I have not introduced the new character in the play. Maybe I should give a run down of my work mates?
... on reflection at this time I will keep this about my mentor as she deserves her own post.
The Mentor- She has the warmth of Donna and confidence of CJ from the West Wing. For reasons I am unsure of she like me. She also heads a team which includes Jessica and myself. We all get on very well. She has cool taste in music and I do follow her lead. In new music we trust.
I know she has a blog, a good one (so I am told), but I have not the courage to seek it out for what if I read about myself and am confronted with my shortcomings. Do I change who I am as a consequence. Do I alter my personality based on a cyberspace interpretation of my actions. Am I flattering myself by assuming I am mentioned? ... I will not read it.

Moving on. Now maybe I knew there was a strong chance we would meet at the gig, maybe I did not. But we did meet and no doubt she will leave it to me to disclose or not to disclose.
She is a star...

...but how do I deal with this?

Two timing touch and broken bones

Message from Lorenzo
Sent 12:47 GMT

Ola,
Unfortunately Jessica could not go to the gig and big Bassanio could only make it late evening so i asked Nessia. She is really funny as well as knowing how to party so was the perfect choice. I was not going to mention it as it is no big deal and its not like it was a date.
...anyway, outside the gig I bumped into my mentor and her partner so my, not so much of a secret, is out. I was going to let Jessica know but I had not got round to it. Now this could go one of many ways but do bear in mind I have done nothing wrong. I did not think going to the gig could bring possible awkward consequences.
How did that happen?
It was just a gig.

Maybe next time i will go to the gig alone.
The floozy

Thrills with Nerissa

Message from Antonio
Received 01:23 GMT

Bonjour Monsieur Fishyboy,
I know the Thrills but i dont like them. The lead singer's vocals are too airy fairy for my liking (if that makes any sense). Glad you had a good time with one of your bitches. I like your pimpin style bruvva. Why didn't you take Jessica?
That bird did ring me back and has given me details of the modelling agency she works for but i dont know if i'm gonna bother. I cant imagine posing for photos and not laughing. I would just think of David Brent!

Au revoir (I like these continental phases)
Antonio

Whatever happened to my friend...

Message from Lorenzo
Sent 17:08 GMT

Hey ya,
I was at The Thrills gig on friday shaking it like a polaroid picture. You know the thrills? santa cruz(your not that far), whatever happened to my friend corey haim etc etc. They are a Dublin band, who add a modern, focused edge to the classic American sound of the 70's... you get the picture.
Did the sexy Ukranian call and did you follow that with a rampant former sexy soviet union resident orgy? I would like to think so. I think it is one of the few countries with a significantly higher % of women so if you struggle for a random fact there you go.

...anyway - I went to the thrills gig with Nerissa and neither of us really knew who the thrills were. I bought the album 1 hour before got to the doors and we tried to learn the words asap. We did ok but were a little short on time. The Irish lads were immense- so good that i bought another album. The place was buzzing and i was jumping around looking like a crazy fool but who cares, it was fun.
I will have to do that again.

fish

***Character update***

Looking at my blog I realise that I have not fully explained Jessica's character.

Jessica- A fast track recruit to the crime fighting office who was head hunted from Oxbridge and we have got to know each other fairly well over the last year. Rumoured to have taken out sixteen criminal gang members using only her Kung Fu skills. Turns heads when she walks into a room, is funny, confident, sexy but modest with it.
We go out from time to time and it is always a lot of fun.
She has my respect.
She always covers my back and always I covet hers.
She is good friend.

I miss your sweet ass

Message from Antonio
Received 04:52 GMT

Howdi young fish,
I to am missing the likes of you, the monkey, the giner man and the small round man. Never realised how cool it is having friends you've known for 13 years. Over here i have friends but they are more like aquaintances (spelt wong i expect). I am not miserable though, far from it, on friday this really sexy bird (Ukraninan i think) came up to me and asked me for my details so she could contact me. She was from a modelling agency! I was trying to play it cool but found this so funny I started laughing uncontrollably. Anyway i gave her my number. Surreal but cool as hell.

Something for you to think about regarding this Jessica creature. Maybe she only wants to be friends. You are obviously in a better position to know if this is true. I am merely hypothesising.

Lots of male model love
Antonio

I miss you

Message from Lorenzo,
Sent 10:04 GMT

Hey Antonio,
Sat at home thinking "man i wish i could go out in the big city/play snooker/chill with Antonio. Is this pining? I dont like it. I bet you having a great time kicking it in the east with those sexy oriental women! but take care of yourself cos it is a crazy world.
You better be working hard cos if i come over i expect your house to have a pool... well at least a jacuzzi. is that how you spell it? screw it if i want to spell it like that i will!
Just to keep you informed, Jessica and I are still good friends. I know you will want me to be laddish about things but it will never happen.

Lots of (Lorenzo)Love
Lorenzo